In the past few days, the whole concept of 'colour' has inspired me and when I'm inspired, a song or a poem 'song without a melody' lol soon follows. I wrote this last night as I was trying to sleep. Unfortunately, I failed and now I'm REALLY tired. sad. Anyway, before I collapse because of extreme exhaustion, I thought I'd post what I wrote. :D
COLOUR ME
Colour adds what black and white can only dream.......
Colour brings vibrance, it brings attitude.
Colour brings sparkle, it brings mood
Colour me red and see my burning passion
for living a love filled life
Colour me blue and see how emotions
can single handedly run the show
Colour me green and see how jealousy and comparison
can sometimes get the better of me,
the grass seemed greener on the other side
but I remember its a journey,
Colour me yellow and see warmth and friendship
colour me purple and see me carry myself like a regal figure,
a queen, a jewel, the apple of his eye,
Colour me pink and see me blossom from a girl to a woman
embracing femininity, the beauty in being the lesser but also equal
Colour me orange and see the feisty side,
the 'fighting for what's right' side,
the 'wants my voice to be heard and not drowned out by the crowd' side
Colour me...
Colour me all sorts of shades,
see the extent of what he made,
by no means a perfect picture,
but blend to combine something you can hopefully relate to...
Nyime Nwator, 2011
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
I dont know about you, but around this time of the year I go into deep reflection mode and I try and remember all the resolutions objectives I made at the start of 2010 and figure out whether I met any of them. Finish law school? yep. Be in paid employment? yep. Have some sort of rough idea of what I want to do in life? yep. Keep up the singing? yep. Put out some tracks? yep. Go on holiday? yep. Release a cd? NO.
[Background: I'm a singer/songwriter and I've wanted to release some sort of 'collection' for about two years now....it's a LONG story so i'll stop there lol]
Its funny because the one thing I didn't do shouts increasingly louder than the many things i did. How can I score 9/10 and still not be happy with my achievement? I feel like one of those students who you see crying when they open their GCSE results. You go over to console them only to discover they did excellently and the reason they're so upset is because they had what they consider to be a measly 'A' ruin their string of 'A*'s'. You stand their in disbelief when you compare their achievement to your own (I only got one A* lol) and wonder why they're the ones crying and you're not.....until you're standing in their shoes. Fast forward 2 years and you're looking down at your A level results. Its two A's and one B but you worked hard for and strongly desired 3A's. You don't cry in public but you can't help but hide 'that gutted feeling' from being reflected in your countenance and then you get it. You understand...
When you set personal targets and goals for yourself, you work HARD, you're dedicated, you're doing everything necessary to achieve those goals and you fail, it WELL and TRULY SUCKS! *insert frustrated scream here* All sorts of questions race through your mind like olympic athletes running the 100m sprint.
"Did I not work hard enough?"
"Should I have focused more on a particular area?"
"What the HECK was my downfall?"
The happiness you should be feeling from the A's you achieve are drowned out by the ONE B grade because you DESERVED those other A's... It's no surprise that you received them because you put it in work, period! Let's not forget how difficult it can be to rise from the ashes of what you perceive to be a defeat, the momentum that has to be built up ALL OVER AGAIN, the many tears you have to wipe away and the mental reps you have to do to get your perspective in shape... did I already mention that it sucks????! A few minutes pass you by and you realise you have a visitor... 'self-doubt'.. she walks into the living room of your mind and makes herself at 'home'. She arrived with her belongings on her back implying that she'll be staying a while...your first encounter with her leaves you puzzled and wondering to yourself whether you were/are even capable in the first place.
(Prepare for cheesy follow-up...)
A few days later, 'Hope' calls your phone (tee hee!)...and even though your friendship is on the rocks, she reminds you that 'all is not lost'. It's true. why? Because generally, you have the chance to learn from your experience and try again.
Life is a journey and too often we focus on whether we've 'made it' rather than the process involved. A process that re-works your character, tests your patience, keeps you grounded and humble and one that reminds you that without God, you can do nothing. It's tough especially if you are a competitive person like myself - you wish you could be done with the process and skip straight through to the end lol. My point is if you didn't achieve all you wanted to achieve in 2010 don't be disheartened. The likelihood is that if you look closely in your pursuit of your goals, you've picked something up, something valuable, something that you can take with you into 2011.
He has made everything beautiful in its time.. Ecclesiastes 3:11
Perhaps it's to be thankful for where you're at right now, the fact that you're even seeing a new year. Some were snatched away just before 2011 dawned upon us. Perhaps your process has taught you about yourself, attributes you can celebrate and those which you need rid yourself of. The list can be endless, but if you look, I'm SURE you'll find something.
2011 is going to be a great year!! I'm sure of it. I'm excited not just at the prospect of what I'll achieve this year but at what and how much this year, like every other year, will teach me....
last year's ceiling is this year's floor........STANDARD.
